The Story of Leila

Steven: “Hi, I’m Steven. What’s your name?”
Leila: “Leila.”

Steven: “Nice to meet you, Leila. We’re in the Bronx right?”
Leila: “Yeah, right in the Morningside Heights.”

Steven: “How have you been?”
Leila: “I’m not going to lie…it’s not the the easiest place to be, but I don’t have any choice. I’m struggling really hard. There’s been way too many drastic changes in my life that I just can’t account for. If you told me a two years ago that I would be living like this, I would not have believed you at all, I would actually have laugh at how absurd it was.”

Steven: “Two years? How long have you been out here?”
Leila: “A year and a half. It still feels unreal… you would be surprised with what I used to do.”

Steven: “What did you use to do?”
Leila: “I was a tech recruiter. Worked for a small startup company, but then the layoffs started. I thought I would be fine because I had savings and a fairly decent resume, but I couldn’t get a job for some reason… It probably had to do with how competitive the market is and my savings ran out faster than I expected due to medical bills.”

Steven: “Oh my goodness… that is absolutely terrifying to think about. You were in tech and now you can’t even find a job….That’s such a quick spiral. It’s scary how fast things can change.”
Leila: “It really is… I worked so hard to get my job and position, and look at me now. I used to live in a nice apartment, going to brunch with friends, and having steaks for dinner. I sound so full of myself, but I was really living the life and I did have to rely on sleeping in my car, but like I said before, I had medical bills and so I had to sell the car too.”

Steven: “Yeah, it can be so unexpected…have you tried getting back into the tech?”
Leila: “I’ve tried, but gaps on my resume? I was struggling to get a job before so now it would be nearly impossible for me to get one now. They’re going to see that I don’t have anywhere to go, that I smell bad…The moment I walk in to interview, it would be red flags to recruiters. I would know. because I was one. Oh, and on top of that, I don’t have a laptop anymore so I can’t exactly network. Honestly, my biggest mistake was not networking enough”

Steven: “That’s a side of homelessness most people don’t think about… just how hard it is to get back on your feet.”
Leila: “Exactly. The longer you’re out here, the harder it is to get out of your situation. People are going to see how long you’ve been homeless for and they won’t want to accept you. It’s almost like we’re ticking time bombs.”

Steven: “Wow. I’ve never heard of that expression about being a ticking time bomb. Is that the hardest part for you?”
Leila: “Yeah, I stress about that every single night. Every night that passes, my chances of not escaping this living torture increases. I’m terrified and I don’t even know what to do. It feels like I’m just existing, and I have to admit that the way people look at you out here is gruesome.”

Steven: “Is there anyone you trust out here?”
Leila: “There’s a woman named Maria I met at a community kitchen down the street. She’s older, maybe in her 60s. She’s kind of like a mom to me out here that I never had. She would often speak to me and greet me and tell me where to shower and find pads and all that.”

Steven: “That’s amazing. It sounds like she’s been a huge help.”
Leila: “She has. She’s tough, and I wish to be as tough as her but I don’t think I can. It’s been really hard living out here and she’s been doing it for over, like what, 20 years? I don’t know how I she did it but if it weren’t for her I wouldn’t have survived.”

Steven: “It’s good that y’all have people to rely on… I would say that having a support system or just someone you can talk is the biggest thing out here. there anything you do to pass the time?”
Leila: “I journal. I’ve always loved writing, so it’s my way of processing everything. I even started writing a series of short stories about the people I’ve met out here. Some of them are heartbreaking, but the fact that they’re still here and living and wanting to be better is what also helps me keep going. Also, I don’t want to forget about this part of my life. I want to change and help others who are in similar situation as me.”

Steven: “That’s beautiful, and I’m glad your perspective has changed. I’m hoping to change everyone’s perspective by sharing stories like yours, so people understand that we should help the homeless instead of ignoring or belittling them.”
Leila: “Thank you for your kind words.”

Steven: “Of course…Is there anything you might have or do that surprise people? I know you have given us a lot of surprises already, but do you have anymore?”
Leila: “I used to do stand-up comedy. It was just a hobby, but I loved it. I used to tell these ridiculous stories about my coworkers.”

Steven: “Do you ever still perform, even just for fun?”
Leila: “Sometimes, I’ll make Maria laugh with my old bits. But I don’t have the same confidence I used to. Out here, you kind of forget how to be lighthearted.”

Steven: “I know that you told me how you’re stress about staying out here everyday…is there something that motivates you?”
Leila: “Just having the thought of being able to go back to my old life. Making money, living in a house with homecook meal, and being able to help Maria if I do. She deserves everything and I cannot express how grateful I am to her. I hold on to that possibility. It’s not easy, but I tell myself things can change, even if it’s a ticking time bomb.”

Steven: “You have to keep that mentality Lelia. I really believe you… if you had three wishes, what would they be?”
Leila: “Well having my job back would solve all my problems, but not for everyone living out here. I have some experience but most of the people living here don’t, and it’s cruel. I wish for them to find something they enjoy and be able to pursue that while making a living and being with their family. That’s what I want and I’m sure that’s what most people would want as well. That would be my only wish.”

Steven: “Wow, that’s incredible Leila, thank you so much for sharing your story. You’re incredibly strong, and I have no doubt you’ll find your way back.”
Leila: “Thank you.”