The Story of Lorena

Steven: “Hi, I’m Steven. What’s your name?”
Lorena: “Lorena.”

Steven: “Nice to meet you, Lorena. We’re in Syracuse, right?”
Lorena: “Yep, near Franklin Square. I like it here because its close to the canal. It’s peaceful at night. You can hear the water and not just the loud noises from the city.”

Steven: “I understand what you mean… it sounds really calm right now…How long have you been out here?”
Lorena: “I don’t remember the exact years because it all blurs together after a while, but if I have to say maybe seven years, give or take. I try not to count but instead I just focus on getting through the day because if you don’t have a home, every day is all about trying to survive.”

Steven: “Yeah, although thankfully I’ve never had to experience what it’s like to be homeless, my cousin was homeless for some time, and also I’ve been interviewing homeless people, so yeah… I’m sorry for how people treat other people out here…it’s cruel… if you don’t me asking, what led you to this point?”
Lorena: “I was in an abusive relationship for years. I stayed longer than I should have because I thought I could fix him…that’s a popular term I’ve been hearing all over social media (laughs) One night, he went too far, and he slapped me across face and thankfully, he didn’t go much further than that and that was when I knew I had to leave or things would get much worse. But when I left, I didn’t have anywhere to go. I don’t have a family or savings. My family left me because they didn’t want me around my ex, and they were right. I was just too dumb to see in, so when I left, I just grabbed what I could like my clothing and snacks.”

Steven: “That’s incredibly brave and respectful, Lorena. You should be proud of yourself! Do you ever think about reaching out to your family? You broke up with him after all.”
Lorena: “I’ve thought about it, but it’s complicated. My mom passed actually and she was the one who wanted me to break up, so if she was alive, I’m sure she would’ve supported me. All I have left is my dad, but he… he was never really in the picture. Did a bunch of drinking and rarely comes home. My sister’s married, has kids, and a life of her own. I don’t want to burden her. I think she knows I’m out here, but she hasn’t reached out and if she doesn’t reach out, I’m not going to ask why or ask her for money. It’s her life, and she made the right choices and she has a happy family.”

Steven: “That’s heartbreaking how you’ve learned and come back from your mistake, but there’s no one to support you.. I’m sorry for that”
Lorena: “It’s okay. That’s life.”

Steven: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all make mistakes…How do you spend your time now?”
Lorena: “I volunteer at a community garden over near the Westside. They don’t pay me, but they let me take some vegetables like broccoli, cabbages and lettuces. Actually, volunteering there made me love being around plants because well… this is going to sound embarrassing but they don’t judge you and they’re all I have. It’s therapeutic watching something grow when everything else feels like it’s falling apart.”

Steven: “That sounds beautiful and very unique. Have you done gardening before this?”
Lorena: “Not really. My mom used to keep a little herb garden on our windowsill when I was a kid. She’d let me pick the basil or parsley when she was cooking. I think about her a lot when I’m working in the garden. It’s like a way to stay connected to her but at times it can be regretful.”

Steven: “Yeah, but I’m sure your mom would be proud of what you did. When you get out of here, do you want to do something gardening related?”
Lorena: “I want to start a little flower shop one day. I don’t want anything big like a chained store… just a corner spot where people can come in and pick up something beautiful and talk about life and love for flowers. Flowers just reminds me that life isn’t terrible because they start off small and boom…they bloom and I just really like seeing that.”

Steven: “That’s such a wonderful dream and I really like the bloom comparison… I think you can do it but do you think it’s possible?”
Lorena: “Maybe. Not now, but someday. I’d need stability first. I need a place to live, a steady income. But I like to believe it’s not impossible. It’s what keeps me going.”

Steven: “That’s what I like to hear! I love optimism! Do you mind sharing the hardest part being out here?”
Lorena: “I get hungry often, like really often because the vegetables aren’t enough really. “

Steven: “We can go grab something after if you have a favorite spot. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it.”
Lorena: “Yes, there’s a deli that recently opened and the owner seems very nice and sometimes he would give me sandwich, but I don’t want to annoy him too much.”

Steven: “That sounds awesome…I can’t wait to meet and thank him! He sounds like a great guy. How do you cope with those memories?”
Lorena: “He really is, and what I do mostly is just write. I don’t have the luxury to do anything else and writing is free.”

Steven: “Yep, that’s common from what I’ve heard… Do you ever share what you write?”
Lorena: “Not yet. It’s too personal right now. But maybe one day, I’ll turn it into something. A book, maybe. Something honest about what it’s really like out here.”

Steven: “I would encourage you to do that because I know I would read it for sure! Is there something about you that would surprise people?”
Lorena: “I used to be a dancer. Ballet, mostly. I started when I was five and kept at it through college. I was good, too. I haven’t danced in years though.”

Steven: “Do you ever think about dancing again?”
Lorena: “Sometimes. When I’m in the garden, I catch myself humming old songs and moving a little. It’s not much, but it reminds me of who I used to be. Maybe one day, I’ll take a real class again. For now, I probably won’t go back but we’ll see in the future.”

Steven: “Ballat sounds so cool and yeah, you should continue it. Just try it out and it’ll bring out a joy in you that you missed… now if you had three wishes, what would they be?”
Lorena: “Three wishes? Well, first, I’d wish for a little house with a garden out back. Second, I’d wish for my flower shop like a place where I can share something beautiful with the world. And finally it would be a second chance with my mom. I want to see how far I’ve come and I think a lot would be different if she was still alive.”

Steven: “I’m sure she is proud of you, Lorena and thank you for sharing your story. You’ve been through so much, and yet you’re still finding ways to grow, literally and figuratively.”
Lorena: (laughs) “Thank you.”